How to talk to intimidating girls abundance mentality dating

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What do you think about when parents say things like “Boys are just intimidated by you” as a way to explain why they’re not noticing you? GABBY: I care a lot less now about whether a dude gives a fuck if I exist, but in high school I felt uncrushable and I’d complain to my parents about not feeling cute. Of course my parents meant well, but honestly, I don’t think teenage boys were smart enough to actively be afraid of me in that way.

I think it was more of a combination of me being shy and not conventionally attractive, and the fact that most teenage boys are pretty awkward too. GABBY: But I don’t like the idea that boys get to decide what makes a girl intimidating!

But sometimes my instincts are right—I’ve met new people and thought they were too cool for me because they like they were too good to talk to me. HAZEL: I don’t want to waste time with people who won’t give me the time of day! I think we uphold this idea of, like, That is great and awesome, but it’s also totally normal to care what people think of you.Also, we’ve both been called “intimidating” by our peers, teachers, and parents, and all of them meant it as a compliment. A lot of girls we know have been called intimidating, so we decided to talk to each other about what this phenomenon actually means.—Gabby GABBY: Do you remember what if felt like the first time someone described you as intimidating?DUDE, I WAS PROJECTING A LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND BELITTLING OTHERS! I have to remind myself that even if you’re the perfectly intimidating girl in my head who wears a leather jacket and great eyeliner, you probably still feel insecure, and you have to pee just like everyone else, and you probably watch Netflix alone sometimes, too. GABBY: Yeah, it was shocking the first time I found out.So I guess the moral is don’t describe people as intimidating unless they’re literally threatening you. ALSO, we’re all intimidated by each other, secretly.

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