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Not all are tripped up by the scent of an unfamiliar cologne or perfume, however.

"If you go to call on a credit card, and they've put a password on it that didn't exist before, that's a telltale sign that something is going on," warns Francine Gargano, a family law attorney in Watchung, N. Don't let a little roadblock stop you; use the information you do have, says Winston.

"You don't need to have joint accounts to get evidence," says Winston.

Many are found out by their fishy charging and spending habits.

The text alert and email alerts are usually one of the first things we tell the spouse to do. Cheaters have a tendency to cover their tracks so by the time the statement comes in the mail, they've formulated their excuse. "Checking each other's credit reports provides details about new accounts, balances owed, inquires, new cellphone accounts, etc.," says Winston, who explains that as with credit and checking account statements, if the other person is cagey about sharing, you have reason to question: "What are they hiding? " If your partner refuses to hand over his report, you can't legally access his or her complete file, even if you're married. box or another location, it will show up there." Add a text alert to credit accounts Even if the statements and credit report turn up nothing, but you remain convinced that your loved one is loving someone else, you may have another way to catch him or her in the act. Charges that are -- and aren't -- supposed to be made will ping on your cellphone immediately.

"It's an integral part of our investigation." Bank employees also know how telling such statements can be.

Denise Winston, founder of the personal financial education website Money Starts Here and a banker for more than 25 years, says she's "seen it all" when it comes to cheating spouses and how their shopping habits have brought them down.

"The text alert and email alerts are usually one of the first things we tell the spouse to do. Cheaters have a tendency to cover their tracks so by the time the statement comes in the mail, they've formulated their excuse.

Alerts are a great backup." After the financial evidence: be smart "If you find indicting charges that indicate cheating, the knee-jerk reaction is to confront," says Gargano.

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