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This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.
Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.
You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.
” This gives the child respect and responsibility for their actions.
I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.
Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.
“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?